The letters from no one

"Letters TO no one?"

2012-02-06T01:52:00.000-08:00

I'm seriously thinking about renaming this blog to "Letters to no one" simply because I sit here writing to myself most of the time! I joke.

All jokes aside, I know I always say this, but I do want to get back into writing more often. I tend to write blogs when I seriously have nothing else to do or when I've had quite a bit of time on my hands. This happens to be the case at this very moment. I finished my exams last week and while everyone else still has some to finish off, I've been lying about at home doing nothing and enjoying a few days of freedom before I'm back to school (tomorrow) and the work load starts again. This last year in school is tough!

All the hard work and studying better pay off in the end and I'm really hoping I get the average I need to get into Queen Mary University (London). My "back-up plan" for now is the University of Nottingham because it asks for a lower average, but I'm still waiting to hear back from King's College and hopefully they'll offer me a place for a little less than QM.. I want to keep my chances of living in London relatively high! I'd be happy with any of these three Unis after all, they're all great for English so in the end I'd get a pretty good education anyway! I'm excited to study English and Spanish, especially because all the universities offer a year abroad in a Spanish speaking country and I'd love to study/work in Spain, it sounds so exciting! Meeting new people and getting to practice the language every day sounds amazing... I can hardly contain my excitement right now! The most important thing at this point is that I get to do what I love; the location comes second.

That was a bit of a pointless ramble and a terribly structured blog post! But I suppose it's better than nothing! Oh and I started reading "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov about a million years ago so I think it's about time I get back into reading it so I can finally finish it. Once again, it's what I always say because I know perfectly well that once school starts again with all the work that comes with it, I won't have the time or the will to read.

And I hate that, I really do.

That Time of Year

2011-12-23T06:45:00.000-08:00

So it's that time of year again.

The bustle of the crowds as they do their last minute shopping in the glow of the Christmas lights hanging high above the streets. Unfortunately it doesn't feel like Christmas at all for me. School has been an absolute nightmare these past few weeks; so much so that I completely lost track of time and did not realize that the 25th of December was only a few days away! I find myself sitting on a train on my way to Kokkola from Helsinki and for the first time in 17 years (that I can remember), we landed in Finland with absolutely no sign of snow. That is reason number 1 for why it really does not feel like Christmas. Besides that, I just really haven't had the time to get into the Xmas spirit. My house has no decorations whatsoever and the first time I heard a Xmas song was yesterday.. how sad! For the first time I feel like I'm almost "too old" or "grown up" for Christmas, but that can't be possible. I get to open my presents tomorrow evening and as excited as I am to dress up and see my sister and my niece after so long, I already know half of my presents so there really isn't an element of surprise. I feel old.

Today has been an extremely exhausting and very long day (that isn't over yet), but luckily I got to see my friends Jenny and Helen in Helsinki for a couple of hours, which was great! I really have missed them. Although I wish we were in a more cheerful place; Finland is quite depressing at the moment! I had to say goodbye to them at 15.30 and it was already almost pitch dark and now I'm looking out the window on the train and all I see is the occasional street light. One whole week of this? No, thank you! Thank god there's Rihanna to cheer me up! She released her new video today! "You Da One" is out on YouTube, so check it out. I've been trying to load it for the past 20 minutes, but that's because I'm using the train's WiFi and although it's slow, it really is better than nothing.

I hope that whoever reads this has an amazing Christmas and hopefully you're more in the spirit than I am! Feel free to link me to some Xmas-y songs! Oh, and Happy 2012 as well if I don't post before then!

Ari

Books and thoughts

2011-08-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

As I haven't taken the time to write a blog in a very long time, I thought I would take these moments of boredom/free time to write about a couple of books I recently finished reading. I suppose this will be a review of some sort, but it's mainly just my thoughts and feelings on the books and how they have affected me in some way.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

The Bell Jar was one of those books that was lingering in the back of my mind's top shelf in the "to-read-eventually" section. I started reading the first chapter not really feeling much of a connection to what Plath was writing because normally I like to research the author before I fully immerse myself into a story. It always helps me understand it more or link various characters, details or events to the writer. But lo and behold, my book had a whole section at the back about Sylvia Plath's life and the process of writing The Bell Jar. I immediately understood that the main character, Esther Greenwood, is merely a mirror image of Plath herself. At this point the story changed immediately in my eyes and it suddenly took on a more powerful meaning. It's a relatively simple read, but the true insanity and paranoia present in Esther slowly comes forward as the story continues. As the blurb says, "Sylvia Plath masterfully draws the reader into Esther's breakdown with such intensity that Esther's insanity becomes completely real and even rational, as probable and accessible an experience as going to the movies". I could not have summarized it any better myself. What really attracts the reader to think this way is the narrative of the book, which is written in first person, so we are experiencing every detail through Esther Greenwood's distorted view of the world. There are moments in which we see hope for her, but she can't help but wonder, "How did I know that someday - at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere - the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn't descend again?"

I don't believe Esther ever did free herself of the bell jar, she simply had moments in which she resurfaced, but soon sank back into the whirl of discomforts that came with living in her own skin. I found the book extremely powerful and compelling, but also quite harrowing. It should indeed be considered a modern classic and I recommend it to anybody who is looking for some modern and absorbing literature which will really make them think. Now that I have read the book I can place it on my "best books ever read" shelf with conviction.

"To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is the bad dream."

Next Post: The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid

What pisses me off

2011-06-19T00:48:00.000-07:00

No one reads blogs anymore.

Therefore, no one writes anymore.

That is why I am sad.

Long time no--write?

2011-03-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

Why, hello there strangers!

I cannot believe how long it has been since I last posted. I suppose I'd decided to take a break from blogging because I failed miserably at it, but now I've set myself a new goal: post at least once a week! That shouldn't be too hard..

Alright so quick update:

Still at school and everything is going fine. I'm having a bit of a crazy time with work and especially my big art project which is a self-portrait on canvas which has to be finished by monday so.. you all know what I'll be doing this week end!

Finally bought To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee) as a book to read out of interest which works well with our theme in English this year: Clash of cultures. Our teacher encouraged us to do some research and reading outside school which will then help us with writing and especially in our exam. I'm already getting ideas, so I can't wait to prepare that essay. In class we're reading Maya Angelou's first book out of her six autobiographical novels. It's called I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. It deals with the clash of cultures in the southern states of america back in the 1930s, as does To Kill a Mockingbird. Very excited to read that.

Also, my birthday is coming up in 2 weeks! Quite excited to turn 17 and my easter holidays start a week after that and I'll be on Spring break for two weeks.

Okay, so that's just a short glimpse into my life at this very moment. I don't know if there is anybody out there who reads this, but it felt good to post something again!

Hopefully, see you next week :)

All you need is love..

2010-06-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

"Un hombre que me quiera que me trate a su manera, de la palabras sinceras que me de la vida entera! Cómo explicar, como decirte Mira! YO te quiero, yo te adoro yo te amo, yo te anorio -yo te siento."

Inspiration

2010-05-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today, I have been truly inspired by a woman who I once thought was just an eccentric, over-the-top, pop star wannabe. I recently started looking at her from a different aspect and I believe she is a smart, intelligent and extremely talented human being. Of course, I'm talking about Lady GaGa.

I was watching her interview with Alexander Fury, in which she was asked questions from celebrities and fans from all over the world. She was honest and clearly thought about exactly what she was going to say before answering. A good word to describe her answers is: complete. They were consistent and nicely thought out. GaGa's intelligence and passion as an artist really came through. It was great to see that live. You can read the transcript of the interview here.

A couple of answers she gave were really inspirational and made you think about the true meaning. Sometimes it's good to have something to think about when you're trying to figure someone out. When asked this question: With your music and aesthetic, are you another fantastic story-teller, or are you showing us what real life can be? Lady GaGa answered:

"Both. I'm telling you a lie in a vicious effort that you will repeat my lie over and over until it becomes true."

This answer was thought out and honest, I think. But what really hit me as an inspiring answer to an excellent question was this:

Q: Do you ever wish that you weren't famous?

A: I've always been famous - just nobody knew about it. Fame is on the inside. I guess you can say 'The Fame' is something I've always felt and want my fans to feel. Do I wish I wasn't famous today? No. I do wish sometimes I had more privacy, but there are sacrifices that you make. The trade off is that if I wasn't famous I wouldn't have my little monsters and I would never give that up for anything.

I'd encourage anyone to go and read the entire interview, although it is quite long. I must say it definitely changed my view on her as a person and she has opened up a lot since she first started out. I used to see her as cold and as a person who let fame take the best of her. But after today, I can see what a strong woman she is and she's managed to stay true to herself and her fans throughout. I have too many good things to say about her now, I might stop here before it gets long!

What do you think?

ari

Old feelings come back

2010-05-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

It's really starting to feel like summer now. Today the weather was lovely and I took the opportunity to go out and sunbathe in the 30°C. I must admit it feels great to be off school for an entire week and as much as I hate certain aspects of summer, so far it's pretty good. I mean the sun is out till about 9pm and you can stay outside and hang out and it never gets too cold. I'm sitting on my bed with the window open and my PJ bottoms rolled up into shorts because it's so warm. I can actually smell the summer air and it brings back all those memories from this time last year. So I sit here, writing a blog and listening to the crickets' chirping.

In general, today was a good day. I spent a lot of time outside and not on the internet seen as it wasn't working for most of the day, which was good. I got a bit of a tan and didn't get burnt, which is also good. When I got to my dad's house I had dinner and watched The Back-Up Plan (with Jennifer Lopez). It's a good comedy, but I feel sorry for my little 9 year old brother who had to watch more than 1 woman go into labour, but he managed to laugh it off and isn't too traumatized! Well, with kids these days.. you have to teach them when they're young.

Anyway, I'm really excited about tomorrow because I'll be going to a friend's house to watch a movie, have a barbecue and chill outside with my friends on an early summer night. It just sounds like so much fun, I can't wait! I hope this summer is gonna be good. It better be amazing! I'm planning on making a few changes, starting with my hair. That'll be a surprise! Oh MAN, now I'm all excited and won't be able to sleep! Also, going to the park with my niece, my brother and my sister tomorrow morning! So many good things!

Adios!

ari

A stressful week to say the least

2010-05-22T11:37:00.001-07:00

Wow. It has been way too long since I last posted. I suppose I should come up with a good excuse, but the main reason is: I practically forgot I had a blog. Along with that, I just had exams and they were pretty hardcore. You know that feeling when it's the summer, the end of the school year and you have better things to look forward to than study for 9 exams all in one week? I felt like that. Just like I could not be bothered to make that last effort and study as hard as I should have. This lot of exams was different from the ones at the start of the year because these ones were "harmonized"; meaning that every language section in our year had the same exact exam and that each teacher would contribute to writing at least a couple of questions for the final paper. This was not cool. Especially for the sciences, which are taught so differently by each teacher and our Chemistry exam was by far the hardest one. None of us were expecting it. This should prepare you to this shocking fact: I failed that exam. So, I went from a 9 in my last exam to a FAIL. I was pretty disappointed, but the highest mark in the class was an 8.6 (out of 10).

Okay, okay. I cannot continue talking about the exams now. I'll say that we all went out to party last night and to celebrate the end of that horrible week and the start of a week off school! I had an amazing night and I can confess I wasn't exactly sober. But nonetheless, we all had a blast and I started "duelling" with my friend in the middle of the street. Yes, Harry Potter style. That was the highlight of my night and the highlight of the onlookers' night too, I'm sure. So now I'll try to enjoy my week off school with the sunshine and seeing my friends. We're planning to go to an amusement park/ theme park (?), I don't know what you call them. Well, one of those parks with loads of rollercoasters and cool rides. We have one a couple of hours away called Gardaland next to the lake of Garda. I haven't been there in years and I used to be scared of rides then so this will be my first time on crazy rollercoasters there! I'm really excited, especially because I'll be with my friends. I really hope the whole plan works out, though.

I do apologize to the few loyal readers (and to myself) for not writing in so long. You can clearly see that I am a bit rusty after all this time. Hopefully I'll be writing more during this week off!

Hasta luego, amigos!

ari

BEDA day 9

2010-04-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Uhm.. I'm not exactly sure what today's theme is about, so I think I'm going to skip that. I might do it tomorrow.. if I have any time. I'm having a small pre-birthday celebration with a few friends tomorrow. We're going out for a pizza for dinner and then out to party with everyone and have a few drinks ;). In the afternoon, I might get together with a couple of friends to go to the Luna Park (like a really small amusement park) which is around now, close to where I live. The rides are always so much fun, even if it is quite a small place. Sooo I really hope I get the chance to go there!

Today..hmm..what did I do today? Well I went to the park again with my sister and my niece, just to get out of the house and then I stayed in all day, playing Mario Kart Wii and writing essays for Finnish.. which by the way, I still have to finish.

I love this time of the day, when I get to chill with my laptop and watch a movie or an episode of some random TV show before going to sleep. Oh, I almost forgot I have an appointment with the optician tomorrow morning at 9AM! 9 FREAKING AM! ON A SATURDAY!? Yes, that pisses me off.

Alright, that's it for today!

A domani!

ari

Things I love

2010-04-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

Felt the need to change font today :)

Anyway, today's theme is Things I Love. Well, there's so many things, let me just list a few..

Friends
Spring
Daffodils
Laughter
Slash
Sound of a guitar
Walks on the beach at night
Chanel
Romance
Acting
Being on stage
Meeting new people
Traveling
Rome
London
New York
Harry Potter
Nerdfighteria

Woah.. I just realized I could go on forever. Well, today I managed to work out how to play Mario Kart Wii online with friends, so I went on and I played with Lo and won most of the time hehe. We're waiting to talk to Ashley to arrange a time to play with her too. I can't wait! Also, Marissa introduced me to a new iPhone app called TextPlus, which is amazing because I can text her for free when she's all the way across the Atlantic! Thanks for that, Marissa! As Ashley said the other day, I'm also feeling UNCONDITIONAL love towards all of the TSR girls! We have to have a huge conference call on Skype one day. If any of you girls see me online then call me, cos I happen to be really bored lately and it would be awesome to talk to you guys "face to face"/screen to screen.

Last night I watched Mamma Mia for the first time and I actually thought it wasn't too bad. I thought it was a really balanced movie. Not too much drama,comedy or emotional bits, but just the right amount of all. Besides, it was amazing to see Meryl Streep play such a different role to the ones she has before. It took some getting used to, to be honest. My birthday is in 4 days. 4 DAYS! The only thing I hate about looking forwards to my birthday is that I'm theoretically also looking forwards to the first day back in school, which is seriously not the case. AND Anna got to see John Green and David Levithan at the signing of Will Grayson,Will Grayson in Chicago (i think), which is beyond AWESOME and I am so jealous! I can't wait to hear all about it, so seriously Anna, don't make me wait till next Monday! ;)

See you tomorrow, if I remember!

ari

Hello Blog (continuation of BEDA)

2010-04-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

Why, hello there. After reading a couple of comments on my "failed BEDA" post, I have decided to try again and maybe continue. Well, today's theme is Celebrity Crushes! Isn't that exciting? Well, the only huge celebrity crush that I've had was on Daniel Radcliffe about 3 years ago. It was pretty intense and that's how my obsession for Harry Potter actually developed. I started cutting out the tiniest pictures and articles that mentioned his name and sticking them on my wall. At that time, I used to have a diary I wrote in, and it was pages full of the name "Dan" and endless hearts. I feel embarassed while I think back at that hideous me. My latest "crush" may have been on Slash (maybe the younger "him") and otherwise I just find some actors and singers really hot. Like Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl or Mark Salling from Glee. Nothing big anyway.

Soooo today I woke up early because the cleaning lady got here and my sister and I decided to leave the house and take my niece to the park. We had a good time and then we went out to lunch which was something different to what I've been doing lately. In the past few hours I've been trying to do my Finnish homework and uploading my TSR video, but unfortunately now I have to finish writing this post so I can go read more FINNISH. I've got more homework than my sister...and she's a senior. It's insane. I just really want to relax and enjoy my last few days of Spring Break, but I have so much work to do, it's not even funny. I want to just go to sleep forever. And the weather's amazing and I'm sitting inside doing homework all day, basically. I want to go out and see my friends. This school work has reached a whole new level of SUCK. Nerdfighters.. what happened to decreasing that factor in the world? I need help. Anyone want to do my work for me?

*Sigh* I leave you now to go read some boring Finnish novel and write another essay. Just the second one of the day.

Hasta mañana... lo espero.

BEDA FAIL.

2010-04-05T03:07:00.000-07:00

Alright, I failed at BEDA after only 2 days. So, Saturday night I went to the theater and out with my aunt, got back at midnight and completely forgot I had to write a blog. That is my excuse. I gave up after that so now I shan't continue doing BEDA, but I'll just blog randomly when I get the time ;)

I am a disappointment.

I fail at life.

Goodbye.

BEDA day 2

2010-04-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. It started off with a nice trip to the shopping center nearby. Trust me, saying it's huge is an understatement. It had all kinds of amazing shops and so that was it, I was in heaven. I'm going to jump to it and tell you what I bought:
- a dress and a handbag from Mango
-a top from Bershka
- a shirt from Roxy
-a shirt from Stradivarius
-a wallet from Accessorize
-2 pairs of jeans from Zara
and well, a couple of days ago I bought this cute 'coat' from Zara. It's navy blue and has cute buttons..very sailor/Michael Jackson like. So ultimately, I feel like I did some good shopping and got pretty much all I wanted. Later in the afternoon, so a couple of hours ago I went to watch my little cousin play tennis and then we grabbed some ice cream, which by the way is delicious here. My grandma's making the most amazing food for lunch and dinner and I am so stuffed right now. I was trying to watch what I was eating because I really shouldn't go overboard, but man.. it's hard.
So our plans for tomorrow (which is our last full day here) are to go to the centre part of Rome, where it's slightly more historical and there's loads of shops there! Mainly designer stores which I can only dream about, but it'll be nice to walk around and see. Oh and my dad and I are working on trying to find me a job for my working experience this summer and things seem to be going somewhere. My dad has friends who work for this huge Italian movie and television production company. I won't mention the name just in case it causes any trouble, but it is THE biggest production company here. Right now they seem busy promoting new movies, but I should hear from them soon.
I know the theme for today was "music", but I haven't been listening to much lately. Actually, that is a lie. On our way here yesterday we listened to a LOT of Michael Jackson in the car. Followed by Wolfmother, Lady Gaga, Rihanna and some more R&B. Music is a big part of my life. I have phases with it, like anyone else I suppose. But my preference changes from genre to genre. I have my basic favourites, but right now I'm pretty into modern day R&B and pop. I love to listen to some remixes of songs as well, they're awesome. Alright then, je dois aller. I have to go have a nice shower and watch some TV after a tiring day of shopping and walking around the bellissima Roma.

A domani. Ciaooo!

ari

BEDA day 1

2010-04-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

Wow. After a 10 hour drive I am finally in Rome. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted after being on the road since 8am. But as promised, I will start BEDA today. So it may be a short post, but I have exciting news! I know it's still a couple of days till easter, but I finished lent today and had my first meat dish. It was delicious, to say the least. I must say I was starting to get used to being without meat, but man did I miss it. Anyway, I've already seen my cousin and my aunt today and we've already made plans. I think I'll be going to the theatre with her on Saturday night.
I don't suppose I really know how to start off my first BEDA post so I just made it like any ordinary blog. I will hopefully be covering most of the subjects mentioned on the list I posted yesterday, but right now my contact lenses are dry, my eyes are closing and I just need to relaxxxxx. You may think: all you've done is sat on your ass all day in a car, how tired can you be? Very tired, surprisingly enough. But everything is okay and we're here now, which is amazing!
Okay, this is how it's going to end for today. A short post, but at least it's here! I wouldn't want to miss the first day. Now off to take my contacts out, get into my PJs and soon hit the sheets after some chill TV program. Yes, that is indeed my very eventful plan for tonight. And it's a secret, so Shhhh. Hope you all had a good first BEDA day and I'm sure you had more to blog about! Sorry for the length.

A demain!
P.S Rome was sunny today, with 20°C! Yayyyy!
ari

BEDA and the wonders of sickness..

2010-03-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

I sicken myself when I look at the date of my last post. I suppose I really can't keep track of things and that worries me. Well then it is time for a change and I'm going to commit to this blog for at least 30 days. Why? Well because BEDA (or Blog Everyday In April) is starting tomorrow! I wasn't quite ready for the challenge last year as I had only just started blogging, but now it's about time I seriously stop neglecting my blog. Thanks to Maureen Johnson, now all you slackers like me, can seriously commit to something and feel a sense of achievement. Most bloggers write daily anyway, so BEDA would be a bit pointless, but it doesn't mean you can't participate.

So my friend Lo came up with a plan/list of themes and ideas to talk about on each day of BEDA. I checked it out and it seems pretty good and quite consistent so I think I'll use it, but I might make a couple of alterations maybe here and there. I think it was a really good idea though! That way you can't feel uninspired or feel as if you have nothing to talk about. So, here's the original list:

1. BEDA Intro/Interviews(?)
2. Music
3. Food
4. Weekly Wrap-Up
5. Sports
6. History of Hairstyles
7. Celebrity Crushes
8. Things I Love Thursday
9. Teach us!
10. Shopping Kryptonite
11. Weekly Wrap-Up
12. Daily Routines
13. Unique skills
14. Travel
15. Things I Love Thursday
16. Collections
17. Books/What you're reading
18. Weekly Wrap-up
19. Timewasters
20. Dreams
21. Guilty Pleasures
22. Things I Love Thursday
23. Weather stories
24. Favourite Childhood Books
25. Weekly Wrap-Up
26. Quotations
27. Addictions
28. Favourites
29. Things I Love Thursday
30. End-of-BEDA Post

Also, I've recently become obsessed with the expression "ZOMG". I just think it says a lot more than the simple O-M-G! AAAAH ROME TOMORROW!! I can't wait! I finally get to see my grandparents, my and and uncle and my cousins after more than a year. Not to mention, I get to go back to my "hometown" which I really miss. It's such an amazing place to be in and the people are so great. There is always something to do there and it's one of those old cities that's always full of life. It's where the old and the new mix together wherever you go. It's not like in most cities where you have the ancient part of town and the modern part. In Rome, history and modern art are everywhere. From the roads you walk on to the buildings you walk in to. So yes, I am super excited! I leave tomorrow morning and it's a 7 hour drive down there. I suppose that may explain the possible shorter blog posts for the next 4 days because I believe I'll be using a PC with much slower internet and I won't be online as much. OH! And guess what? Meekakitty (Tessa Violet) is heading down to Rome tomorrow with her mom too! That's really exciting for me because she's one of my favourite youtubers and I'd love to meet her. So I shall keep my eyes wide open.

I guess that's all for today. Just wanted to warm up before the 30 days of blogging! I'll have plenty to talk about, I suppose. And besides, April's a good month and we'll definitely be in Spring-like weather. Okay, I just jinxed it. Oh ari..

See you tomorrow!

ari

Forever Young ..

2010-03-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

Woah. I'm not even going to start trying to explain myself for the lack of posts and neglecting everything lately, like: Twitter, YouTube and my blog. Alright, one thing that has definitely not been neglected is Facebook.. but I have specific reasons for that. I apoligize anyway.

First of all, someone has been jinxing us Squirrel Rebellion girls. It started off with Ashley not being able to post, then Anna having problems with technology and then me. My iSight will not work, so I tried filming on my iPhone and everything was fine, but when I tried opening iMovie to do the editing, iMovie crashed and would not launch. Now, if I want to post next week I'll have to film an entire video all in one go with my phone and try and put it up just like that.. That will be awful. Something is going on with my laptop and I don't know how to fix it because I've never had problems with it before. I don't want to pay to get it fixed! I'll have to work something out.

Anyway, if I thought I was confused before..well I'm on a whole new level of confused at the moment. I am the most confused human being you will ever meet right now. Everything is just confusing me, life is confusing. How many times have you seen me use the word "confused"? Well, I'm afraid you will have to get used to it because I have a slight feeling it's going to appear in a few of my future posts. I'm confused because: I'm a teenager and I have a messed up mind which causes me to get too emotionally attached to my good guy friends and then causing trouble. So, seen as it has happened to me before I'm trying to keep things quiet so that it won't ruin the friendship, but it's hard. VERY HARD. (TWSS)

Also, I miss my friends a lot. The ones who were over two weeks ago. The house just feels empty without them and it was so nice to finally have them both over because it felt like the old times when they were still in school with me. Awh..I'm sad now. I suppose I have a lot to say, but most of it is quite personal and I wouldn't like to bore you with more rambling. I just wanted to update and say I'm still here.. somewhere. Oh, and my friend has influenced me with his music and now I'm no longer listening to Guns n Roses, but Jason Derulo, Timbaland, Usher and One Republic. This is not okay. BUT I'm sure it's just a phase, it must be.

Au revoir for now..

ari

Confuzzledddd

2010-02-18T10:35:00.000-08:00

I love the word confuzzled. So much cuter than "confused", don't you think?

Well it's the time when I get all confused with my feelings and all that messy stuff. I hate it when this happens because I'm the kind of person that likes to have a clear mind and my ideas in place. Right now, my head resembles a cloudy sky with some badass fog. It irritates me like no other thing. I suppose this might mean: take some time alone to think things through or talk to someone about it, but now really isn't a good time seen as I'm having 3 friends over and the atmosphere is going to be anything BUT private and calm. Not that I don't want them to come over, but .. do you see what I mean. I'm confuzzled.

On the upside of things, I received two lovely letters today from two awesome people called Ashley and Hazel (Tuesday and Thursday on TSR). I really love getting letters and believe me when I say: It makes my day. (OOh that rhymed!) I just really appreciate people taking the time to write a proper letter, and Ashley the painting was amazing! So, I'm trying my best to return that hard work! I'm gonna get writing those letters soon because otherwise I'll forget and it'll be weeks before I remember again.

So, I probably won't get round to writing tomorrow because I'll be busy picking people up from the airport and attempting to keep them entertained. I'll still update Twitter though ;) Thank GOD for my iPhone! ;)

ari

Dumdeedumdumdum..

2010-02-17T10:52:00.000-08:00

Oh hi there.

Today was a good day. I got my iPhone back! Yay! Well, technically it's not MY iPhone because they couldn't fix my iPhone so they gave me a new one for free. How amazing is that? I better not break this one cos I'm surely not going to get another one.. for free, at least. But yes, I made a TSR video today and I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, apart from that challenge..So you have to go check that out and comment if you haven't already, or even if you have!

Apart from all that, my eye is really irritating me. It's twitching and it constantly feels as if I have a bit of dirt in my eye, but I don't. I think I'll stay off contacts tomorrow. Also, I'm really excited about my friends coming over on Friday! They're my best friends that moved to Sweden and Finland a year or two ago and it just hasn't been the same without them. I miss them so much! And what's going to be awesome is that one of them has their birthday next Wednesday, when I make a TSR video, AND it's her Sweet 16! We'll try to make it as awesome as possible :) So there'll be a HUGE birthday shout-out in my next video.

Well, you know how I said I would try to keep up with a schedule and not procrastinate...let me just say, that didn't quite work out and I am now way behind on all the work I wanted to do. I am an idiot. Fact. Oh! Apparently lent starts today? Well, for these 40 days before easter, I've given up meat so I am now a pescatarian. I really doubt I'll manage to make it through 40 whole days because i just ADORE meat. Oh. My. God. It's one of my favourite foods. I am a crazy woman.

Marissa, I have to thank you for being the ultimate Formspring spammer ever. I love you for that, my only loyal squirrel. :P

Hazel, I can't wait for your video tomorrow!

ari

What is wrong with me today?

2010-02-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

I started writing a proper blog, but today is not the day.

As you may know, I live in a very small town with just over 1000 inhabitants. I just found out that yesterday, a small 10-year old boy was run over by a car and died yesterday afternoon on the street where I take the bus to school everyday. This is not a good day. R.I.P

On a less serious note, one of my contacts won't stay in my eye and my glasses broke so I was partially blind for most of today.

Hope your days were better.

ari

Holidays, Valentines and the world..

2010-02-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

I have 3 mini cactuses/cacti sitting on my desk. They're pretty awesome because they don't die as easily as Bonsai trees. I had one and after like 2 weeks I went on holiday and forgot to ask my sister to water it; it died. I'm not so good with plants, but I do like them a lot.. but you know what I hate right now? Roses. It's that fabulous day of the year guys, it's Valentine's day! Why am I not jumping around throwing rose petals at people? Because I hate this day. I guess I hate it because I'm single, but hey seriously, it is really all a commercial deal. I mean I will probably stick with that theory until I find that perfect guy, not that I haven't found him, he just hasn't found me.

Anyway, enough about the day of the lovers and back to this blog. These past two days have been excruciatingly boring. The holidays have started and most of my friends have gone skiing and I'm here, at home with my family. I'm not much of a "family time" kind of person, but oh well I suppose it'll do me some good? Seen as I haven't had much to do but sit here and stare at my computer screen or read a few pages of Catcher in the Rye, I decided that maybe I should practise drawing a bit more. I used to draw A LOT a while ago and I really wasn't too bad. Now, well let's say I'm a bit rusty. So, I printed out a picture of Emma Watson and decided to trace some outlines and fill in the rest. Here's what it turned out to be...

Oh god.. it's terrible :S

I only notice how awful my drawigs are when I see pictures of them! But yes, I intend to practise a lot more these days when I have free time. Hopefully I'll get inspired and do something of my own, because that hasn't happened in a while! Oh! I also did something incredibly extraordinary: I cleaned my desk up!! Yay! It literally was a massive pile of paper, books, files and anything you can possibly imagine piled up on a desk. It was painful to watch, so seen as I'm having guests over soon, I thought it'd be nice to have a nice, tidy(ish) room. Also, I had to make myself a schedule for this week, that's sort of sad.. My friends are coming over from Finland and Sweden on Friday, so this whole week I have to do all my homework and study for tests that I have the first week back. These are all things I will never get round to doing while my friends are over. So, I must say I'm quite proud of myself for that and hopefully I won't procrastinate like usual and I'll actually get most of it, if not all of it, done by Friday. Also, TSR girls: If you have a formspring account, leave me a comment with the link and I shall make it my priority to ask each of you a question every day of this week! As you know, I'm really bored so go ahead and ask me anything here! (The link is also under 'Ask me anything' in the sidebar)

In the comments, complete this sentence:

This Valentine's day was ____________.

ari

Back from Auschwitz

2010-02-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

Hello world, I am finally back from Poland and on Holiday for a week!

Visiting Auschwitz was quite an experience. So, as promised I shall now start a pretty long blog in which I tell you about my trip to Poland and what I learned from it. I left on Sunday 7th of February and we took the plane really early in the morning to Katowice in Poland. From there it was about an hour bus ride to Krakow, where our hotel was. I must say the first day we didn't really do much, but I also can't remember much of it, because for various reasons I wasn't feeling too good (read previous posts to guess why).

On Monday the 8th, we took the bus towards Oświęcim, which was translated into Auschwitz by the Germans. As the bus approached the camp, we started to see this massive piece of land surrounded by what looked like an electric fence. Our hearts sank for a moment as we realized exactly where we were. It was Auschwitz II- Birkenau, the biggest of the three parts of Auschwitz and 25 times bigger than Auschwitz I. The horrible thing is, the camp was never built to it's full size. This was merely half of what it was meant to become. So the first thing we saw when we walked in was the railway track with that dead end. Thousands of people had walked on the same ground and never gotten out of there alive, but I was there knowing that once I'd finished this trip, I'd be heading home to my family.

The cold and the snow just made it seem more realistic. Our guide told us that we could never know the exact number of people who were forced to go through this horrible place. All we know is that about 18% of them were registered, whilst the rest were sent straight to the gas chambers and no one can know whether they had actually been there, because according to papers, those 82% had never stepped foot on the grounds of Auschwitz because they had not been registered. Those numbers are ridiculous. I cannot begin to comprehend how and why a human being could do something like that to another of its kind. It's inhumane.

What probably hit me hardest was seeing pictures of little kids, not knowing what they were about to face. Small, innocent children being killed. Seeing their clothes was really hard; it always made me think about my niece who's only 1 and a half years old and I could not imagine anyone wanting to hurt her.

Look at the little girl in the bottom left corner..

Words simply can't explain how we all felt when we saw these pictures and were able to see the conditions they were in with out own eyes. If i could have given my life to save all those people, I would have. But unfortunately that wouldn't have been possible.

In the afternoon, we went to visit Auschwitz I which is the smaller camp with the infamous entrance gate with the writing "Arbeit macht frei", or "Work makes free". Many of the prisoners who were destined to go directly to the gas chambers were made to believe everything was going to be alright and that they'd be coming back from the "showers" soon to check on their family. The elderly were told to hang their clothes up on a peg and remember the number so that they could pick up their belongings on the way back. They were also told to tie their shoes together, because it was easy to lose them with so many people around. This way, the prisoners walked into the gas chamber with calmness and had no reason to be worried.

For me, the impact this place had on me still hasn't managed to sink in. It isn't possible for my mind to even imagine a human being killing such a huge number of innocent people. They had no mercy. If you were old, you died right away. If you were too young or weak, off you went with the elderly. If you were pregnant or injured, or otherwise unable to work you weren't going to waste the Nazi's time and space by wandering around their precious hell on earth. I thought this sort of stuff could only happen in movies, or maybe not even a screenwriter in their right mind would suggest such a story..but it's the most horrible truth ever told. That is how I can describe what it is. Wherever you are and whoever you are, that is the truth you ought to know and see with your own eyes, because otherwise you will never understand what millions of Jews and other innocent people had to go through. Of course, there is no way to fully understand unless, God forbid, History will in fact repeat itself. But I am glad I went and paid my respect to not only the 1 and a half million people that died in the concentration camps of Auschwitz alone, but to all the 6 million people that were killed overall in concentration camps all over the world.

Rest in Peace.

_______________________________

For more pictures check out this video on The Squirrel Rebellion channel.

[BLANK]

2010-02-04T11:28:00.000-08:00

I have decided this post will not have a title. Period.

How happy am I that it is Thursday? Well, not as happy as I would be if it were friday. I hate to go on about things, but as most of you know, this week really hasn't been amazing. What is scary about next week is that I won't be here for half of it, which means I am going to be deprived of the internet. That means:

No Facebook
No Twitter
No keeping up with Youtube (TSR videos)
No blog posts
No life

When I think about it, it's actually quite sad how my life revolves around the internet nowadays. It has become an instinct to get home from school, grab my laptop and open up Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. If I was a procrastinator before I started becoming an internet addict, what am I now? Literally, I cannot get down to doing my schoolwork or studying until I've checked the above-mentioned sites. I've figured out that a couple of days without the internet will probably do me good. Next year I really cannot afford to waste a second of my time. Teachers are stressing us out about how different the next couple of years will be and how much harder they get. Time is not to be wasted. So, I suppose I'll have to go to rehab for internet addiction or get someone to hide my laptop or my relationship with my education will be over for good.. Therefore resulting in me being jobless and homeless and having to crash the local church and become a nun.

My life really doesn't seem to want to work out just yet. Anyone feel the same?

ari

The Mother of all bad days

2010-02-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

Oh dear..

You know when in your head you run through the day's events so you can judge whether it was a good day, a mediocre day, or a day not worth thinking about? Well, today is a day I don't want to think about. I suppose that I've been having so many good days without even noticing them, that a bad day really hit me hard. I don't believe I could even explain it, I guess I just feel really down as i'm not exactly the type to have a massive storage of self-confidence and that results in excessive self-criticism and ultimately: a bad day.

I shouldn't even be blogging about this. It makes people depressed and not want to read on. Anyway, these past few days have been full of work and really tiring. Today I uploaded my Wednesday video on to the TSR channel, so check that out even though it's slightly depressing.

I wish I was in the mood to write more, but I do apologize. This is it for today and I'm sure anyone would understand why. Hope you had a better Wednesday!

_____________________

Still reading: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Days till Holidays: 9

ari

Oh dear, it's those feelings again..

2010-02-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

So I was sitting on my bed, reading through my Finnish history book when my Mom calls from downstairs telling me to run down immediately. I sprint down the stairs -if that's even possible- and see that on the TV they're showing a clip from the Grammy awards. I look at it more carefully and see a face that I recognize: Prince Jackson, accompanied by his sister Paris. As I stood there watching, all the feelings from that horrible 25th of June came back to me and my heart sank. As stupid as it may seem, Michael Jackson was/is more to me than a simple singer. Every time I see things that remind me of him, especially his children, I am reminded of that feeling of loss I hadn't felt before June 2009. I've never lost anybody close to me and I surprised myself that day, when I ended up in tears for hours, which turned into days. I still don't know how to explain it, I can't exactly tell for sure why it hit me so hard and why it still does. It feels like losing someone really close.

Basically, that is the highlight of my day. My reading really isn't getting anywhere, although I am close to finishing the HP book. I've been doing a bit of homework like: reading about 20 pages of that damn Finnish history book, completing a Geography project on the Three Gorges Dam in China and analyzing random bits of text from a historical Finnish novel. Apart from that bit of news, my life is pretty mediocre. We get our first "serious" report cards on Friday which have all our exam grades on them as well as grades on how we've behaved in class/homework/tests. I'm pretty excited for that, actually! Oh, yes and -6 days till Auschwitz! My friends and I have all decided to go out to town the night before, which isn't such a smart idea because we have to be ready at 4am on Sunday morning and we'll be getting back at like 1am... and not fully sober. So that really is going to be an adventure: 3 hungover girls on a plane ride to Poland at 4am on a Sunday. I'll let you know how that goes!

I'm really not used to blog anymore. I found it hard back in the summer when i actually did write almost every day until I gave up. I suppose I just don't have that much to say, or my life has really become an uneventful pile of work. This week is a VERY busy week because of the workload I have to hand in and the scavenging I'll have to do to find some time to film my Wednesday video for www.youtube.com/thesquirrelrebellion . Ah.. I keep on saying that if I don't have much time, I'll make a short one, but it always ends up being too long and there's so much cutting to do! Oh dear.. we'll see what I come up with on Wednesday, then!

Not sure I'll be writing here tomorrow, I've got tennis after school till 7pm and then I've gotta get WORKING!

Comment, squirrels!

_________________________

Currently reading: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Days till Ski holiday: 11

ari

New Blog, Harry Potter and meh..

2010-01-31T04:52:00.000-08:00

I've decided to create a new blog page, just to start over. I mean now I've got my TSR girls who must be checking this out! So, I'm re-reading the Harry Potter books! It's so exciting to start over, I almost forgot how much I love it. When the 7th book came out and I'd finished reading it, I felt quite lost. So I re-read the whole series a couple of years ago and then my love for HP kind of died down for a while. But now I was really in the mood to start over and it's great. I'm only on the first one and I must say, I'm reading much slower than I normally do, but that's because I hate reading during school because I have so many things to do already! That's why I cannot wait till my ski holidays, when I can sit down in my room and read for as long as I like.

In exactly one week's time I'll be on my way to Poland to visit Auschwitz. That's something that most of you don't know. It's a school trip and many people from my class have decided not to go because they really don't want to see the camp and it'll be too much for them emotionally. Personally, I don't know too much about Auschwitz, so I think going there will truly open my eyes and whether I find it extremely emotional or just overwhelming, I think it'll be worth it. We ought to show our respect towards all the innocent people that suffered and died. On the other hand, there's some people who refused to go simply because it's "too cold". It has reached -30°C up there, but now it only seems to be at -6 to -10°C so I think we'll be just fine! ;)

_____________________________

Currently reading: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Days till Ski Holidays: 12

ari